Things I want to Accomplish in 2010:

1. Learn French

2. Move to Africa

3. Fall back in Love with My Job

4. Speak up more often about things that Matter to Me

5. Write letters to my Congressmen

6. Learn Hebrew and Arabic

7. Be a Better Listener

8. FInd the Road to True Peace

9. Make more Friends

10. Love. Everyone.

In short, I simply want to Continue Saving the World…

Peace is not something you wish for; It’s something you make, Something you do, Something you are, And something you give away.

Robert Fulghum

This Christmas, I found the Heart of God.

Around the dinner table at my Mom’s house.

While sitting at the table, I was reminded of a song by Leeland called “Carried to the Table”…

It says:

“Wounded and forsaken, I was shattered by the fall. Broken and forgotten, feeling lost and all alone. Then I was summoned by the King, into the Master’s courts. Lifted by the Savior, and cradled in His arms.

I was carried to the table, seated where I don’t belong. Carried to the table and swept away by His love. And I don’t see my brokenness anymore when I’m seated at the table of the Lord. I’m carried to the table, the table of the Lord.

Fighting thoughts of fear and wondering why He called my name? Am I good enough to share this cup? This world has left me lame. Even in my weakness the Savior called my name. In His Holy presence, I’m healed and unashamed.

You carried me, my God. You carried me.

The people gathered around the table tonight were Carried to the table. They all arrived by different means, but they were no doubt placed there by God.

One was a quasi-homeless guy that is currently living with my parents. He’s a few years older than me and my parents have known him for about 10 years. He has done nothing with his life and has hit rock-bottom. He’s not worthless and he is not beyond reach nor help… even though his mother thinks otherwise. And my Mom can see this. So he has a seat at her dinner table.

Another is one of my Ex-step-sisters. We met when I was 5 and she was 7. She didn’t have an easy childhood but she’s done the best with the tools she was given. And even though she ceased to be my step-sister about 8 years ago, she has stuck around. My mom is not her Mother. But my Mom is the only Real Mom she’s ever had. And for that reason, She has a seat at the table.

My step-dad also hasn’t had it easy. Life has knocked him down time and time again. He has burned bridges and made many bad decisions. But he’s worth fighting for. So he, too, has a seat at the table.

There’s also my half-sister. She is a know-it-all teenager. But because she’s a Beloved Daughter, She also has a seat at the table.

Then there’s me. I’ve screwed up. When I was a teenager, I gave my mother Hell. There’s not a whole lot of reason I should have a seat at the table. But because I too am a Beloved Daughter, my mom makes a place for me.

Then there is my Mom. What you need to know about her is that if anyone has ever shown me the heart of God, it is her. All my life I’ve had those “Broken and forgotten” people at my table. At one point, that person was a mother-of-three, Crack-addict that my mother knew was worth fighting for. And she did. At another point, that person was a pain-killer-addict, wife, and mother-of-two who drove my mother crazy but whom she also realized needed someone to love her… unconditionally… which my Mother did until she died a few years ago.

I see the heart of God every time I see my mother. She’s not a Bible-toting, self-proclaiming Christian… But she is the Walking, Talking heart of the God I serve. I know that God carries people to Her Table so that they can experience His Love.

So all those people that sit around my Mother’s table – I know that the world has left them Broken and Shattered, me included. But when He carries me to That table, I am always swept away by Her love. I don’t see my brokenness anymore and I am healed and unashamed.

We heard a lecture from the director of Musahala tonight. If your not sure what it is, google it because from here I can’t post the link.

We heard a lot about where Christians fit into the Palestinian/Israeli Conflict. And I felt completely Overwhelmed and Paralyzed by the magnitude of the issue.

We’ve only been here a few days and there are Palestinians whom I have come to respect and even Love.

But I also Love Israelis. I Love them and what they have been through as a people. And that Love produces a great respect.

But what the Palestinians are going through under the occupation has also created in me a great respect for them and how they have survived under these conditions.

Jesus says blessed are the Peace Makers. And I want to be one of those Peace Makers.

But I’m just now realizing what that actually means…