What the World needs Now
"Save the Date!"
Aren’t these adorable?!?
I have to thank my wonderful friend/awesome wedding coordinator, Andi, for putting these together. She’s simply amazing. And so are the things she creates.
Planning this wedding without her would leave this Bride-to-be utterly lost…
Eduardo and I have set our wedding date as December 17, 2011. Only 55 short days from now. I’ve committed to doing/making most things myself and spending the least amount of money possible on the wedding due to the fact that simply getting Eduardo here and kepping him here will end up costing us upwards of $2,000. Now, that’s not to say that the wedding will not be everything I have dreamed of…
Our colors are red and black (both mine and Eduardo’s favorite colors). Below are some things I have made so far:
I bought this basket for $.50 at Goodwill, found some awesome fabric at Hobby Lobby, and hot glued it all together. The final product is simply fantastic!
I also picked up these 6 frames from Goodwill today, too. 4 with glass, 2 without glass. I took them outside, gave them a few good coats of flat black paint and then… viola!
Obviously I didn’t make these, but I ordered them here for only $35. A steal! And they are even more beautiful in person.
I also dropped my wedding dress off this morning to he hemmed and it should be ready in plenty of time for the wedding.
And thank God for Andi who is helping me coordinate, organize, and plan so much for the wedding. I would really be overwhelmed without all her help and support! And thank you to Trina and Laura who came up last weekend also to lend their mad tracing and scissor skills. I really have no idea what I would do without you guys! {group hug}
Enter: Super-busy Wedding Planning Mode.
In the mean-time, here’s our wedding website: http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/MagenGunter&EduardoIbate
Be Back Soon 
The last two weeks have been a whirl-wind of news for Eduardo and I. Good News. Here’s a run-down:
September 7: Received an email from USCIS saying that our I-129F, Petition for Alien Fiance, has been APPROVED! Hard copy was mailed on the 2nd. (We were approved only 100 days after receiving our NOA1. That’s Super fast!)
September 9: Received the hard-copy of the approval notice. I almost didn’t believe until I saw it in black and white on that United States of America stationary… Approved!
September 12: I called the National Visa Center (NVC). They told me that they had received our approved petition and they gave me the case number for the Embassy in Guatemala.
September 14: Eduardo went to the capital and got is passport. He now officially has somewhere for them to print his visa!
September 15: Our petition arrived at the Embassy in Guatemala.
September 22: I called the Embassy. They told me that since they had just received our petition last week, they haven’t officially scheduled and interview date for Eduardo nor sent out his appointment letter. When I asked if she could tell me when his interview could possibly be, she told me that since our petition was already there, that it would almost definitely be November 10th. This made me VERY happy. I had been hoping for the November date but planning on the December one. (They only do K-1 interviews once a month).
September 23: Received an email from the Embassy saying the following:
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Dear Ms. Gunter: Thank you for your email. Please be advised that we just received this case from NVC last week. An appointment will be scheduled for your fiancée for November 10th and the appointment letter will be mailed to him soon. We hope this information is helpful. Regards, Immigrant Visa Unit American Embassy Guatemala IV/lrg |
So…I think it is safe to assume we have the November date!
And what does all this mean?
48 days until the interview.
57 days until I get to kiss my handsome man when he arrives in the US.
85 days until our wedding day.
And many, many days of crazy, happy, stressed, ecstatic, nervous Magen!
I absolutely Love this man.
I cannot wait to be his wife.
And spend the rest of my life loving him.
Perfection.
After a few layers of Krylon’s Blue Ocean Breeze spray paint and two rolls of brown ribbon (with wire) from Wal-mart, meet my new, revamped lamp!
I LOVE it and it looks wonderful in my bedroom!
I Love DIY Projects
“It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than of anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.”
– Paulo Coelho The Alchemist
I’ve been all into wedding planning lately. Well, I think it would be more appropriate to say I’ve been forced into wedding planning lately in a ploy to retain my last shred of sanity. And the above is one of our Ceremony Readings. The first time I read this, I cried. And I sent the original Spanish version to Eduardo and he told me that he thought when Coelho wrote this, he must have been thinking about his, Eduardo’s, life. This little paragraph sums up mine and Eduardo’s love perfectly. I love it.
It is terribly hard being away from the person you Love. With Someone you share this kind of Love. The person you have committed to Marry. I think only now, after not having seen Eduardo for almost 5 months (since May 2nd), I am starting to realize how hard it is. And it could easily be another 3-4 months before I see him again (and that’s if there are no hiccups in the rest of the process). Hence, the reason my last bit of sanity is about to jump ship.
Eduardo and I still talk. Everyday. He is still working too hard, which is something I secretly respect about him. He finally got his car up and running so he’s back to taxiing after his day job. Yesterday, he took some baby chickens to a women’s group in one of his communities so they can raise them and sell them. His family is doing well. And He is doing well.
But I want him here. Maybe I’m being too selfish. But he is everything I ever wanted in a man. He is my Knight in Shining Armor, mi principe azul. He is my perfect match. The person who compliments my Soul. And I want to be with him. I know he’s trying to enjoy these last few months with his family and friends, but I’m tired of waiting. They’ve had him for 23 years. Now, it’s my turn. If only Immigration wasn’t just another ridiculous, bureaucratic governmental institution, he may already be here. My impatience is getting the best of me. I want to just see him. Watch TV with him. Go to the lake and talk with him. I just want all the simple things we used to do together.
I miss him so much. Just in case there was any doubt in your mind, I am still here. Still waiting. And still missing Him. Terribly.
I think it’s safe to say that all the plans I had made for my life, up until now, are forever changed.
I like to make plans. That’s who I am. They make me feel better. They help me give my life predictability in a chaotic, unpredictable world. Roughly, this is how I had planned my life going:
1. Graduate High School (Check, 2005)
2. Attend college at Lee University (Check)
3. Graduate in May 2009 (Check-ish, I graduated in December 2009)
4. Join Peace Corps and leave right after I graduate from College. (again, kinda-check, I left at the end of April 2010. Just 4 months behind my original schedule…)
5. Learn Spanish (Check)
6. Return from Peace Corps after my 2 years of service (came back a year early…)
7. Attend grad school (… not yet?)
8. Get my Master’s Degree in Mental Health Counseling.
9. Counsel people.
10. Get married at 28-years-old.
11. Have kids at 30.
12. Manage an Awesome Career and my Family.
I think I fell off my nicely-constructed wagon at around number 6… The dream of that wonderful, well-planned life -gone. It’s funny to look at that list and think that I really don’t feel all that accomplished, because I have so much to be proud of. I was the first in my family to graduate from college. The statistics we stack against me but I did it any way. I survived the selection process that is Peace Corps. I lived in a developing country for 12 months.
But I left early. I was sick, that’s a good reason. And I still dealing with many elements of that sickness. But I still quit. I’m not a quitter. I don’t handle ‘qutting’ well.
But what have I gained in return? The opportunity to marry the man of my dreams one year earlier. If Guatemala taught me anything, it is the value of family. Suddenly being surrounded by adorable children and gossiping mothers made me crave having a little family of my own. It made getting a fancy degree and having my own office complete with mahogany furniture much less appealing. Being in Guatemala put things in perspective. It sounds cliche, but what good are all those accomplishments if you don’t have someone to share them with? I found Eduardo and suddenly, while I still wanted those fancy things (namely, the Master’s Degree), I wanted so much more to spend my time loving another human being and allowing myself to be loved by a man I have so much respect for. Eduardo does not complete, because I was complete before. But he enriches my life so much. He shows me things about myself that I should appreciate, but maybe just haven’t learned how to yet. He also shows me things I need to work on, but in a way where I often figure it out without him having to say anything. We both love to help people and find so much value in the giving of our time and skills to make a difference, because money is something we don’t have much of. He is my perfect match. Of that, I am sure.
So, what I am slowly (almost hesitantly) learning, is that maybe my plans needed to change. I don’t think my plans were unrealistic or unachievable. And if I really wanted those plans, I could make them happen. But, I think instead, I want to find Fulfillment and Richness in things that don’t fit into that list. Like long conversations with Eduardo about what we will name our children. Feeling a little sense of accomplishment after I realize that I had that whole conversation in Spanish. Wedding planning with my Best Friends. Being here for my little sister’s senior prom and graduation. Going to work and making great friend like Lourdes.
Because in the end, I want to look back at my life and be assured that, above everything else, I chose… Happiness.
Today, I want to tell you how I came to know my sweet amiga, Lourdes. Lourdes is the cleaning lady where I work. She looks hispanic and any doubts about that are confirmed when she opens her mouth and speaks in her heavily accented English. When I started this job, I wanted so bad to speak to her in Spanish but I was afraid, even though it is not hard to tell that Lourdes is a naturally, unbelievably happy person. So I resorted to just saying “Gracias” when she returned the trashcan to me after emptying it and that was it. This continued for a few weeks. Until one day I was in the first-aid room organizing some things and she came in to mop the floors. She said her usual cheerful, “Good morning!” and I replied with an equally excited “Good morning!” She then, out of the blue, asked me if I spoke Spanish. I then started blurting out (in Spanish) that, yes, I speak Spanish, I lived in Guatemala for a year, and I’ve really been wanting to speak with her! She was so excited! And did not hesitate to start speaking back to me in the characteristically fast mexican-spanish, which threw me for a loop at first but, luckily, I was quickly able to decipher the words and order them into intelligible sentences in my head. From that point forward, she has not spoken another word to me in English. And I love it. I have since heard all about her teenage daughters, her boyfriend, and the baby they have on the way! I don’t know what I am going to do without her when she’s on maternity leave!
But anyway, back to the story about her name calling. We have a temp agency that does all the hiring for our company and they have offices in our lobby. Lourdes arrives every morning, bright and early, and starts cleaning the front offices right away. I arrive about 7:45am and she comes in the get the trash and mop around 7:50am every morning. The guy who usually works in the morning for the staffing agency arrives before I do so Lourdes has no problem slipping in to grab their trash. But last week he was on vacation so his assistant was coming in for the early shift. Problem is, she didn’t arrive until around 8:05am – after Lourdes had already been through our offices. And, unfortunately, Lourdes doesn’t have keys to open their doors so she wasn’t able to empty the trash before moving on to different parts of the plant. The Assistant said something to me about Lourdes not picking up their trash and I told her that she wasn’t doing it on purpose, she simply couldn’t get in the door to do it because she, the Assistant, arrives much later than the normal morning guy. But I told her that I would talk to Lourdes and ask her to come grab it. So I went out into the plant where I knew Lourdes was working and told her that I knew it wasn’t her fault, but that if she had time, could she get the trash from the temp service’s office. She was a little perturbed. And I understood. Lourdes is one of the hardest workers I have ever met, mexican or otherwise. She is in charge of cleaning the whole plant and she doesn’t have time to backtrack to places she’s already cleaned. She has a schedule and she has to stick to it in order to get everything done. And I told her that. I told her that it was the temp service’s fault for not being there and only if she had time, would she take the trash out. And if not, I would ask the Assistant to set the trash outside the door after she left so it would be accessible in the morning. She did go and get it later, but not before the assistant went to our HR manager to tell her of Lourdes’ negligence. Now, the HR manager is fabulous. So she went over with Lourdes and Lourdes was able to show her that the part she has been able to clean was really clean and that the problem was that she simply didn’t have access to the trash. HR Manager agrees, Lourdes does a great job. But Assistant did succeed in pissing Lourdes off. The next morning Lourdes told what all happened with the HR Manager. I asked her if she wanted me to say anything to the HR Manager and she said she felt like it was all okay now. But then she proceeded to tell me what a beautiful person I was. She told me that not only was I beautiful on the outside, but that same beauty she could also see on the inside. She said rarely is she treated as nicely by white people as she has been by me. She told me that Assistant was pretty on the outside, but that outside beauty doesn’t matter if it is not also on the inside. She said “It is as if you were a Mexican.” To which I responded “Thank you! That makes me so happy!” She thanked me again, bid me a “feliz día,” and went on her way.
So why did I take her calling me a Mexican as a high compliment?
Because she noticed that I cared. That I was striving to understand. That I wasn’t stereotyping her and discounting her work. She knows it’s not glamorous, but she’s doing her part to support her little family and fight for her piece of the American Dream. And I respect that. I respect her.
And for that, I know that I have Peace Corps to thank. Without having been in her exact shoes, trying to live in a country with a backward culture and a seemingly impossible language, I wouldn’t have tried so hard to befriend. And to defend her. And I hope that when Eduardo arrives, the people that he encounters give him the same respect and allow him the same dignity. Ojala. Because until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes…
So now, the majority of the Latinos working in the plant know I speak Spanish and don’t even bother with English anymore. And I really do love it. Although it is humorous when someone who doesn’t know walks by me speaking to Lourdes and later asks her “¿Ella habla Español?” to which Lourdes responds, “Oh, yeah. Her spanish is perfect. She lived in Guatemala for a year and has a Guatemalan boyfriend who she plans to marry…… etc.” And I just smile to myself and think, while I know my Spanish isn’t perfect, I’m glad they appreciate my effort and more that anything else, accept me as one of their own.
(For the record, Assistant is beautiful and a really nice person, but just didn’t know how offensive criticizing Lourdes work would be. But I’m only hoping you can learn from her mistake.)
2 Things I’ve Learned Since Being Back:
#1: Long distance relationships are terribly hard. And, for me, it’s mostly because I hate seeing Eduardo hurt and knowing that I can’t be there just to hug him and tell him it will all be ok. I can tell him that from 1,500 miles away but I know it’s just not the same as having someone there, someone who you know loves you unconditionally and someone who you know is there to support you no matter what. Again, I know that he knows that, but I hate not being with him to be able to show him that. I hate feeling like a failure and I hate, even more, feeling like I’m failing someone I love. And I also hate knowing that it is the ridiculous bureaucracy that is the United States immigration process that is keeping us apart. But, this is where we are now. And I do believe our relationship is stronger now than when I left. It is hard to believe that Eduardo and I met just a little over 6 months ago… And its even harder to believe just how happy he’s made me.
Pictures I recently put up. Miss Him.
Lesson #2: Racism is alive and well in the south. My 3 months back have been, well… enlightening. But the thing I have found most appalling is the way white here people look at Hispanics and automatically assume that their intelligence must be somewhere near zero, and even lower if they can’t speak English. When the fact is these hillbillies aren’t and will never be half as intelligent as they are, they have just been put at a disadvantage because their ancestors didn’t high-tail it out of their countries when the English did. That’s because they were doing just fine, well until that Spanish came and destroyed their cultures and languages. But that’s bitterness I will save for another day…
So I’ve been back in the states almost 2 months now. And life is definitely different… but I am glad to be back. And even though I still think about Guatemala everyday and still talk with my students, I am now even more sure that I made the right decision to come back.
Luckily, I was able to find a job just a little over a week after I got back. I am working as a receptionist/HR assistant for a factory that makes seats. It’s not my dream job but I do enjoy going to work everyday and putting my organizational skills to work. The people I work with are also awesome. So… I’m happy.
The more frustrating part about being back is not having Eduardo here. I love that man more now than when I left but that makes not being with him all the more terrible. But, the good news is that we are officially on the road to getting his visa. We received our NOA1 (notice of action) on May 25 telling us that our application had been received and would be forwarded to Vermont for processing. The current wait time is 5 months but it seems that after that approval, the process goes rather quickly. So I’m hoping to have him here sometime in November! And I can’t wait…
Other than that, no new news on the home-front… Life continues. Rain falls. And the sun keeps shining
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28 October 2011
missmagen
