I think it’s safe to say that all the plans I had made for my life, up until now, are forever changed.
I like to make plans. That’s who I am. They make me feel better. They help me give my life predictability in a chaotic, unpredictable world. Roughly, this is how I had planned my life going:
1. Graduate High School (Check, 2005)
2. Attend college at Lee University (Check)
3. Graduate in May 2009 (Check-ish, I graduated in December 2009)
4. Join Peace Corps and leave right after I graduate from College. (again, kinda-check, I left at the end of April 2010. Just 4 months behind my original schedule…)
5. Learn Spanish (Check)
6. Return from Peace Corps after my 2 years of service (came back a year early…)
7. Attend grad school (… not yet?)
8. Get my Master’s Degree in Mental Health Counseling.
9. Counsel people.
10. Get married at 28-years-old.
11. Have kids at 30.
12. Manage an Awesome Career and my Family.

I think I fell off my nicely-constructed wagon at around number 6… The dream of that wonderful, well-planned life -gone. It’s funny to look at that list and think that I really don’t feel all that accomplished, because I have so much to be proud of. I was the first in my family to graduate from college. The statistics we stack against me but I did it any way. I survived the selection process that is Peace Corps. I lived in a developing country for 12 months.
But I left early. I was sick, that’s a good reason. And I still dealing with many elements of that sickness. But I still quit. I’m not a quitter. I don’t handle ‘qutting’ well.
But what have I gained in return? The opportunity to marry the man of my dreams one year earlier. If Guatemala taught me anything, it is the value of family. Suddenly being surrounded by adorable children and gossiping mothers made me crave having a little family of my own. It made getting a fancy degree and having my own office complete with mahogany furniture much less appealing. Being in Guatemala put things in perspective. It sounds cliche, but what good are all those accomplishments if you don’t have someone to share them with? I found Eduardo and suddenly, while I still wanted those fancy things (namely, the Master’s Degree), I wanted so much more to spend my time loving another human being and allowing myself to be loved by a man I have so much respect for. Eduardo does not complete, because I was complete before. But he enriches my life so much. He shows me things about myself that I should appreciate, but maybe just haven’t learned how to yet. He also shows me things I need to work on, but in a way where I often figure it out without him having to say anything. We both love to help people and find so much value in the giving of our time and skills to make a difference, because money is something we don’t have much of. He is my perfect match. Of that, I am sure.
So, what I am slowly (almost hesitantly) learning, is that maybe my plans needed to change. I don’t think my plans were unrealistic or unachievable. And if I really wanted those plans, I could make them happen. But, I think instead, I want to find Fulfillment and Richness in things that don’t fit into that list. Like long conversations with Eduardo about what we will name our children. Feeling a little sense of accomplishment after I realize that I had that whole conversation in Spanish. Wedding planning with my Best Friends. Being here for my little sister’s senior prom and graduation. Going to work and making great friend like Lourdes.
Because in the end, I want to look back at my life and be assured that, above everything else, I chose… Happiness.





3 responses to “Choose Happiness.”
Mrs. K
August 4th, 2011 at 07:43
Never in my life did I think I would leave a perfectly good counseling job, quit my Master’s program, and move to Alaska (of all places) for a soldier (of all people!). That was the craziest decision I ever made, but I am so thankful I made it. Take your schedule and throw it out the window! Being happy is worth so much more. Besides, you can always go back and do those things a little later in life. I’m back in school now, working toward my Master’s…even though every one said I wouldn’t go back. You will go back, too. You’ve already accomplished so much!
andiadams
August 4th, 2011 at 17:27
You are so right about being complete without him. I feel like that is almost what can make marriage so special, you know? Its a choice we make. I am SO happy for you Magen!!
missmagen
August 4th, 2011 at 18:19
Aw, thanks Kacy. That was really encouraging! I guess just reordering the things on my list is not a problem… and I will get that Master’s Degree, one day! I know I’ll look back one day too and know that this was the right decision to make. And seeing how happy you are makes me even more sure of that
And I completely agree, Andi. Having two Complete people come together seems to make a marriage to much more rewarding than when two incomplete people simply fold into one person. You want to learn more about what makes them who they are instead of trying to figure out where they end and you begin…